Tanner & I started a 7 week study last night at our church. It is called Parenting with Love & Logic. I had never heard of this before but it seems like it is a popular technique, especially in the school systems. Our first class was basically an introduction class but we did get into a little bit of detail. Parker is still very young but at least we are getting a head start though some of this teaching. I have the tendency to want to control every thing around me. I would rather do something myself and know it will get done right rather than letting someone else do it and trying to teach them. I see this a lot with my niece Lindsay. Anytime she stays with us or I am around her I want to do everything for her. Pick out her clothes, tell her when to get in the shower, pick up after her…though sometimes I need to reinforce when & what she does I still need to let her decide things on her own and do things for herself and let her learn from mistakes. This is something I REALLY need to work on. Babies start learning from us and imitating us at a very very young age so I guess we can’t be too early.
Something we learned about tonight that I would have done completely different without this class is to empathize with their emotions rather than tell them “I told you so” or scold them, like we all want to do sometimes. Let them make their own decisions and when they fail we should tell them “we are really sorry”(or something along those lines) with a sympathetic voice rather than a sarcastic one…there is a difference. They gave an example of a 4 year old boy who got an allowance every week (I think it was like a dollar). And before they would give the boy his allowance they would explain why and how much they were taking out for tithing and taxes. I was shocked that you could start teaching a kid this young about taxes, tithing or even giving them an allowance. The father took the boy to an air show and the boy wanted a toy airplane. He asked his dad if he could have it and the dad told him he had his own money. The dad knew the toy was junk and would break within a day but the dad didn’t warn him or tell him it wasn’t worth it…he just let the young boy decide on his own. The young boy bought the toy and within a couple of hours it broke! He started crying and went to his dad and the dad just empathized with him…saying “I am really sorry son” rather than “I told you it wasn’t worth it”.
I can’t wait to see what the other classes will teach! Plus we got to meet some other couples and hear their stories, flubs and successes!
2 comments:
how cool! what church do you guys go too? it seems like a great book and study!
We go to Mid-Cities! It's every Wednesday, but it's only a 7 week course. We have really enjoyed it eventhough Parker is soo young to use it on :)
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